My summer of celebrityhood.

I’m BOOKED FOR AN AUDITION for the Adam Sandler movie!!!! 

It started with a text from the psychologist in our family – Daughter #1 – who thought I needed to get out of the house. She suggested I apply as an extra for the Adam Sandler movie, “You Are SO Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah” — great title! An extra? Not my idea of using my full potential …. 

You are perfect for the movie!  Mazel Tov!!!!

I love it! So exciting! Do you have to prepare something? Is it to be an extra, or a role?

Thank you. I was so flippant and arrogant in my answers! But the picture was great. Ruthie Putter took it on my birthday. I have to go home and look at the available dates. I’m such a late bloomer!!! I’m sure it’s just a lowly role.

I take it back — I probably won’t go. … I looked at the fine print — each day you shoot it’s a 10-14-hour day! They give you lunch but it’s not guaranteed it is served at lunch! And adding insult to injury – the parts are for residents in a retirement home!!!!! How fleeting is fame. 

Ava says you should still do it! Would at least be a fun story!!!??

Do it. Something different and fun. Depending on the day this summer maybe I can come up and work from your condo and be there for dad…

Of course it would be different. You know me — I always need something new and crazy … Monday Wednesday and Thursday afternoons are taken care of and perhaps Maria would do the mornings too … I’ll book a time for the test.

I just asked Maria if she would do full days when needed … of course I’m

Jumping the gun but it does sound like fun doesn’t it?

Totally!!!

And I am starting to repeat my funny material … I need new stuff for my funny stories …

So here’s the next chapter. I see a number on my phone from Beverly Hills CA and I don’t answer. No name. This morning again — but this time they left a message. I called back and got the owner of the casting company. Would I be willing to take a SPEAKING role! Whaaaaat? —  “Of course! I’m Jewish! We love talking!” She started laughing — anyway, they’re sending me lines for the test on camera this Friday,

So excited for you!!!  This is your big break!

Goldie wanted my autograph. I said I will never forget my friends, no matter what!!!! 

Exciting! Get yourself an agent 😀

OMG! This is the best!!!!

Ava says: ‘OMG! Go Bubby!’

Whew! I got my audition videos just in time — They had trouble opening them – they were awful because the script was weird —- then I couldn’t understand Vimeo or any other way so finally she gave me her cell and it worked. I also sent her the Baycrest pilot — to cover my bases. Made a joke or two — maybe I’ll get a bigger part then a stupid Grandma …. 

Apparently I’m ‘in the mix for the role of Andy’s Grandma’ — I don’t know what that means. They’re sending details tomorrow.

Mazel tov. Keep us posted!

I still don’t know what they mean but they gave me the days to show up on set. 

They LOVE me but Netflix has to approve! Oh oh — this is when the sixties could be catching up with me!!!! Security risk???? 

Uh oh. Your wilder days may come back to haunt you! 😀

The fame train left the station years ago!!!! Family is first. 

Netflix approved me. So now the contract is being sent with details about fitting and hair and make up … Now I’m asking Maria to switch her days .. they want me Friday.

Mazel Tov!!!!!!  Can’t wait to hear about your first day in the movie world!!!  You were made for this!!!

You need an agent!

OH MY GOD! This is amazing!!!!

I know — but now I’m waiting to hear from Maria … I don’t even have to do my own makeup and hair!!! 

They just sent me the contract. I couldn’t understand a few things but I did understand PRIVATE DRESSING ROOM!!!!! Whaaaaaaaat????!

Wow!  Glad you’re getting the Kavod you deserve!!! What are you going to request be in the dressing room in terms of snacks? 

Stop it!!!! 

Is your brother reviewing the contract? (haha!)

Ha!!!! I’m not even telling him this is happening! If I don’t end up on the cutting room floor, somebody will tell him, I’m sure. 

Speaking of headshots — they just asked me for one. Then Melissa in California used the one I sent on my resume. Whew!

The Wardrobe Stylist just emailed me for all my measurements. Just keeping you ‘in the loop!’ As they say in Hollywood! I’ve even learned a new word, ‘convo’ = conversation.

You need to write this all down and make a story out of it!!!

Jessica—- Hollywood calls! I’m shooting all day Friday! SORRY — no shabbos.

Can’t wait to hear ALL the details!

Let’s hope they shoot my scene at Baycrest!!

What’s Friday? Hair and makeup?

No — shooting!!!

Wow! Where? Have they sent you your lines?

No, they haven’t and I need a favour —- they just informed me that I have to be downtown for an hour for the fitting and Covid test — so I have to be away for two — can you be here midday? For two hours? 

I was SUPPOSED to do the fitting Friday and shooting in August. But they gave me

the news last minute! Can you be here 10:30?

Just now got my CALL SHEETS! Right now I’m on poop patrol with Izzy — reality always creeps in ….

They brought earrings in – khalush!!! – I suggested we keep my gold earrings but insisted that I keep the medic alert bracelet. Waiting for my lunch. They’ll give me a five-minute warning before the scene so I can get into my Grandma costume — My hair! OhMyGoodness. If I ever land in one of these homes, shave my head — never this!!! Promise!

Signed the contract. Going now to Hair and Makeup.

On my way now in a private van to Base Camp.  He’s taking me to my trailer!!!!

As I was getting made up the assistant came in asking for my food order! I’m waiting here in my trailer for the food, for the wardrobe and the call to go on set. They’re shooting another scene. This is what I hate — the waiting!!! The trailer is teeny-weeny but it’s great to have a private spot. I saw vans coming in this morning spilling out with Jewish ladies — obviously trucked in from the homes around town. They nearly lost one — she practically fell out — it’s high up — well, too high for us seniors. Lawsuit waiting to happen. But these people are very careful.

Jen – my assistant! – just came and took my lunch order! The options were fabulous … so now I’m waiting for wardrobe and we probably won’t be filming until after lunch! I got my lines — all three of them — so I’m memorizing them and the previous lines/cues a… It’s been a long time!!!! Oh — hair and makeup took pics because they’re on set to make sure everything matches the previous scenes — I used to do this when I was ‘in the biz’. It’s called ‘Continuity’ — I failed at it! Eons ago! 

So fantastic!!!   Enjoy your every second!!

My costume! Double Ugh. I requested a lounge chair. Ha! I fell off the toilet in one of the trailers. Not my fault, Jonathan. The bolt was missing. Then I couldn’t figure out how to flush it. There’s a pedal underneath …. Lunch is on its way then I have to put on my costume and wait to be called — only two shots away. 

I went to the courtyard to ‘block’ the scene. Now I’m back in the Green Room still waiting to be wired — they don’t have ‘stars’ sitting there … they have stand-ins.  

I got touched up — Christina the hairdresser and the makeup lady had bags with my name on it. My curls started to come alive so they had to spray it and take a picture for continuity. 

I’m Exhausted!!!! Waiting nearly three hours! 

Waiting to be wired up. Had lunch and now they’ve set up an ice cream table. I’m in a retirement home — they’re shooting so you have to whisper. 

FINALLY! Adam Sandler came in and gave me a look then asked if I’m Grandma … then he asked the girl and my grandson and me to run through the lines. I adlibbed a bit and did Bruria shtick and he kept laughing and pointing at me!!!! We’re going in soon. 

Jen the assistant will do anything you ask her to do — shlep, fetch …. I LOVE this! I really do. I was born for this!!!!!

I wore my Magen David and asked if I could keep it on. Brittany from wardrobe took a picture and will ask for approval or not. 

DO YOU BELIEVE I HAVE TO PAY ACTRA to be in this film? It’s HALF of my ‘salary’ ….

Did you give Sandler a copy of your book?

No — but for a reason. It was inconvenient and he doesn’t stay in the area where the filming goes on. But I definitely will next time because it’s closer to the end of shooting. Guess what? The production is paying for my one-time ACTRA (actors’ union) fees! BONUS!!!! 

Nice!!! 

They had me repeat the same lines twenty different times. Camera angles from the side, from the front, over my head. I understand why but so BORING!!!! We didn’t finish until 7:00.

I started feeling flu-ish so I took The rapid test. Two bands appeared immediately! Positive!!!

Oh no! How are you feeling? Did dad do a test? Hopefully you’ll be all recovered before your next shoot!!!

Just found my next fight. The third booster is out there somewhere and I have to find out where and how to get it. 

It’s crazy! I had to tell the costume fitter that I’m positive … So I don’t know how they’ll accommodate me — or not! Finished before it started! WHAHHHH!!! AGAIN!

Nooo! I hope they can accommodate!

I’m writing to the second assistant director now — looking around for his address …

If it’s a continuation from last Wednesday you’re already 8 days in.

Tested positive last Tuesday … I know I’ve lost count of the days …. It’s invaded my brain!!!!

They are filming in Guelph this week.  Maybe that will buy you some time!

The ‘medical’ team on the movie got in touch with me. FIVE DAYS is the isolation time, then five days afterwards in a mask — IF you have no fever and feel better. Liza: I still might need you. I’ve got a message in to the AD.

Was horribly late for the fitting. Holiday traffic for Cherry Beach … going back to the hospital to keep him company and bring him a milkshake. BTW!!! I have a stunt double! So crazeeee!

The stuff was soooo ugly!!! 

Liberty Grand. Finished hair and makeup and now having my breakfast. You should see my trailer!!!! Twice as wide as the first time with sink and private toilet and shower and desk and fully upholstered couch!!! Maria is with dad so I’m much more relaxed!!!! Gotta go — costume is here …. 

You look fantastic!  Enjoy every second!

I look like a bubby!

If your bubby is Sophia Loren.

You look AMAZING! And the hair and makeup is sooo good!

Ya right! You’re all wonderful liars and I love you for it! Just got coffee delivered! I am NOT going back … I’m running away to Hollywood! They took pictures of me and my hands! I’m having more fun than I’ve had in years. And good news: dad is doing quite well and is in a pretty good state of mind. He did deteriorate slightly in the hospital but he perked up to about 90% pre hospital. 

Looking great.  Have fun today!

I did my own stunts!!!! I told them I’m a speed demon and that my son-in-law won’t drive with me. I’ve drag raced with my grandson. Still looking for takers for the Yukon Striker. No can do. Legal repercussions. 

OhMyGawd. It was freaky facing my stunt double. She was dressed as me with a wig sort-of similar to my hair. People were laughing.

Yes! Finally! I got to do some stunts. My ‘grandson’ pulls me back and starts doing wheelies. The stunt double did the twisting back and forth — I did the straight wheelies and racing through the simcha guests. AND I told Sammi Cohen the director I’m going to give her a copy of my book and it should be made into a sitcom. Because it’s time we saw some Holocaust humour on Netflix! She was enthusiastic — whether it was fake, being- polite excitement or real … we’ll see. Will also give one to Adam Sandler. Our friend Barb Nishimoto would say, “More Nerve than Dick Tracey!”

Waiting in my trailer to see if they want me … for the next scene ….

Love it! P.S. Just checked in with dad and he sounds good!

Aaaahhhh! I’m still waiting! They don’t know if they need me for the next scene but I had a great vegetarian lunch and salad!

I have been in my trailer since 11:00 … close to six hours. And they just told

me they’re aware I’m here and they’re hoping to get to the scene with me in it … and it’s going to be the same tomorrow. I will never do this again!

Oy. The price of fame. Ugh. Did you bring a book?

I’m reading from the internet on my phone and listening to podcasts. 

Are they paying by the hour?

Are they sending dinner? 

I’m released. They could have done this an hour and a half earlier.

Liza — I’m ready to collapse into bed but first have to take off five inches of makeup. I’ll text you tomorrow Re helping out with dad —-

I was told that my Hair & Makeup was at 6:45am! So of course I couldn’t fall asleep at all — probably slept in 10-minute intervals. Then in the morning, I saw the schedule they sent me LAST NIGHT at 11:00 and my call was 8:45 — I’m in a later scene. Here I am at 4:00 am getting everything ready and lined up … so I went back to bed. Slept? Not! Maria is coming back today — maybe Liza will take over after 5-ish. If I’m not back. I would rather do root canal than this! When it’s fun it’s great but when you have to wait for HOURS AND HOURS it’s deadly … BUT they’re paying me and I will not complain too-too much. It’s wet out there and the air is muggy and icky. I want to have shabbes here and I’ll buy everything — no cooking or preparation! Did the dog, washed her paws and bum and now I’m off to my second life. Caviar for lunch anyone???!

I’m in a shuttle with four Americans going to the set for the third time today and we still haven’t done my scene!!!! They’re quite snooty! One of them I looked up — she was a regular on the tv show Mom. The other one looks like a New York intellectual type –  attenuated face … one is a former nightclub singer and dancer who sports Iris Apfel glasses and who has fabulous legs — and then there’s Bunny, a librarian. She was the nice one. …. Waiting for my hair touch up …. One guy is playing the DJ Shmuley — he looked sooooo familiar (I knew he had to be a Sephardi Israeli) then someone reminded me he was in “Zohan” — not sure if that’s the title …. I DID IT. Sandler wants to read the book — was I connected to someone who was in the Holocaust — “Am I? Can you say Auschwitz?!!!” … he’ll send someone over!!!! First step done.

Wow!  Exciting, but long day. 

More money … very strict and generous Re overtime … my hair couldn’t be more matronly —— aaaghhhhh!

Good news and bad .. they’re just now setting up for the shot of my table and then the entire hall of bat mitzvah guests … and it has to be fast because Sunny (Sandler) and the rest of the kids will ‘pumpkin’ soon — their term.

I was crazed by 10 pm. Sandler and Sammi came over to set up the table shot. I turned around and in my best Erkel voice exclaimed, “Are we there yet?” At least he smiled. Somebody put spikes in my head! 

One more day of shooting. Location? Beth Tzedek! YAY!!! 

Post Script

Natie: I need to have my grandchildren around me. Can you come to lunch?

Bubby: How can I say no to a movie star!

My other grandson was asked who his favourite actor was. He wrote “My bubby.” 

How many bubbies have this much street cred with their einiklekh. 

LAST DAY

I got the SMALL trailer. They’re apologizing left right and centre. How fleeting this is!!! We’re parked in the Hily Blossom lot … filming at Beth Tzedek. Waiting for my coffee … said no to the breakfast. Can’t gain an ounce!!!

You’re still a big trailer star to us!!!

I love you for that! 

Same outfit as last time?

No — it’s another one for the BAR Mitzvah .

Can you send us a snap?

Being shuttled back to base camp — did my hair and makeup! 

SO gorgeous!!!

Wow!!!!

They painted my nails red this morning! I’m travelling with the crones … I heard this over the walkie-talkies: “The bubbies are travelling.”

Can’t wait to hear “the bubbies have left the building!”

Later I heard Jen say, “The bubbies are on the move.”

Am on my morning walk and am around the corner form Holy B. Are you allowed to pop your head out of your trailer? 

Too bad!!!! I’m out and in the Green Room at Beth Tzedek! 

Darn! Probably just walked by your trailer! Break a leg! 

My trailer – teeny – is down that aisle and I nearly did break a leg or twisted it climbing down from the van!!!!! But the two people caught me in time!!! 

Oy!!!

You should have seen us try and get out of the van — which was huge and high up. Even with a step they brought along, we grunted and groaned …. 

On the set: I’m not at the Bubbies table — they’re the ones with the lines!!!!!! Berny told me they’re going to take shots of me but later … ?!!!!????

Back in the Green Room and not too soon .. two coffees this morning. The crones are on the move but I’m still here — next time — if there is a next time — I’m going to find out what my part is!!!!

***OH MY GAWD!!! We’re in the Green Room and Sandler is kidding around with the crones. I’m quiet and saying nothing — honest! He turns to me and greets me politely and I greet him back … THEN — are you ready for this????? He says he’s anxious to read my book! And he’s looking forward to it. I tried not to explode! I said I’ll get it from the trailer. I complimented him

on his new song Bar Mitzvah Boy … he was happy because I don’t think the group I was with had even seen it. I reminded him of his famous/infamous-at-the-time Hanukkah Song. I invited him for shabbes — brisket, chicken soup and matzoh balls … he feigned disappointment but they’re going back tonight … he asked his daughter – who he addressed as ‘bubbele’ – if she was feeling blue because it was the last day of shooting. My heart is beating like a machine!!! I’ve got to breathe! I asked Jen, the assistant, if she could get the books which I had prepared from the trailer. It took a while but eventually the gofer got it. Along with the box of cookies Paula sent along. 

FORGOT — Sandler said the scene with the wheelchair stunt is hilarious .. I said ‘so it won’t land on the cutting room floor’ — “No — don’t worry!”

Amazing! These stories are the best!

Can’t wait til he calls to cast you in his next project!

Still wayyyyyyyyyyyting! Apparently I have – pft pft pft – Alzheimers so no lines … got the books here from the trailer — one of the servants brought it … Running out of juice! Should have asked for my charger as well!!!! He’s coming for the book! Then of course he got distracted. Not yet! I’m Going in soon — just to be seen —- Whahhh! Lunch where Ella had her bat mitzvah … I hope I haven’t missed my opportunity!

I just gave Mr Sandler the book … why do I feel he’s going to forget and leave it behind? He came on the set and nodded to me —- He’s so polite and courteous that way. He acknowledges everybody and of course everybody thinks they’re friends. Now we’re back in the Green Room AGAIN!!! And again!! It’s going to be a long night!  Three out of the four crones are at least talking to me. They were here when Sandler asked for my book . One is absolutely mean – in the past and today — 

We were all called in and I thought: “NOW, I’ll get to be on camera again.” No, the call for for only the four … but when I came out of the bathroom, Jen said they wanted me too. So in we went. I was excited to be seen and to finally to the scene of my table. Then we were herded to the benches. Everybody gathered around and Berni, the assistant director, started to say ‘good-bye’ and how everybody was just incredible, blah, blah, blah. Then he read the bubby names and each one got a huge applause and cheer. Sooooo hollow. Why am I so cynical???? Before leaving, I asked Sammi how I could get the book to her. She pointed to her director’s chair with the desk attached. “Put it there.” Great! I ran out and got the book from the Green Room. Ran back, tried not to trip over the cables. Ran in to the still darkened set of Ben’s Bar Mitzvah … She was busy hugging everybody. I yelled out her name, “Sammi!!!!” but really yelled it out. She came over to hug — well, you know how I reacted …. I politely declined but showed her the book. She pointed to the desk. Then she said no, “Put it here, in my backpack.” She took the book and put it in … WHEW … and now we wait. Maybe forever. Why should I be different from the thousands of other hopeful?

—————————————————————————————-

Post Script

Text — Natie: I need to have my grandchildren around me. Can you come to lunch?

Bubby, how can I say no to a movie star!

My other grandson was asked who his favourite actor was. He wrote “My bubby.” 

How many bubbies have this much street cred with their einiklekh? (Grandchildren)